Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Should a man love a Woman, More than She loves Him? Hmm..


So we've heard this one before and found it quite intriguing. First time we heard this statement it was during an interview on Oprah's "Next Chapter" when she was interviewing Bajan beauty Rihanna Fenty, Rihanna said her grandmother told her to always choose a man who loves you more than you love him. Sounds quite selfish rite? However, women do seem to always be the more "emotional" creatures (says society). Should A woman choose a partner that loves her more than she loves him? The author of the article says, No way. Check it Out and post your thoughts after the Jump!

I was able to catch “The Best Man: Holiday” on opening night with my homegirl. Upon leaving the theater she said something that struck me. Without giving anything away, she was amazed at how a man could love a woman so strongly. She was so amazed that she told me that she thinks a man should love a woman more than a woman should love a man.
To be frank, I think we’ve all heard this before. I know that I have, and I also realized that I never paid it much attention. It was at this moment where I simply thought “no.” This couldn’t possibly be right. Let me tell you why.

I told my friend that I think her philosophy is only shaped by her past experiences.

None of us are strangers to relationships in which we may have given more than the other person. To ever say that one person should love one more than the other only speaks to a paranoia we have. We have a paranoia of not wanting to experience that hurt again. In that mindset, we formulate defensive schemes like this. Either we think of it ourselves, or our elders lend their two cents on the issue. Regardless of the source, this idea comes from a place where maybe too much thinking is going on. Sometimes it does pay to experience new relationships in the moment. Give new experiences a fair chance. It’s the only way to remain fair to your partner.

I told my homegirl that if she asked a happily married couple who loved who more, they wouldn’t have an answer. I know what it is to be in love. At no time while being in love did I have a chance to think if I loved my lady more than she loved me. It was irrelevant. I simply knew I loved and that I loved as hard as I knew how to. For a woman to say that a man should love her more says to me that she’s pulling back.

If you’re pulling back and are still waiting for someone to show more love than you do, it isn’t fair.

Your whole relationship is no longer balanced. I’m no expert, but I don’t think that this philosophy will solve your issue either. You could argue that you’re being just as unfair as the person who may have hurt you in the past.

A slew of wrongs don’t make a right.

To experience full happiness with someone, you have to be vulnerable. Liken it to doing math in school and a professor saying they have to see your work. Showing your work is your vulnerability. And yes we make mistakes. We don’t allow ourselves to grow without recognizing our mistakes and fixing them. It’s important to show your work with your partner. You’ll be better for it as you both will gain a deeper understanding of one another.

I think we all should love freely. All these other constructs f*ck up what is meant to be organic. What do you think? Should a man love a woman more than she does him? How about vice versa? Talk to me.
These are my words and I make no apologies.


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